I am very worried because I don’t know how this problem started and when it is going to end. I am also worried because I don’t know what this problem is that is growing in my stomach. At least if I know what it is, I can find a way to solve it.
But I have a feeling that it has to do with Rosco. I just feel it! And I also have a feeling that if I tell him, he might not like it. But who likes to be linked with problems anyway? The fool! He doesn’t ever want people to see us together. If only they know that I have him wrapped around my little finger.
But they don’t need to know anything. All of them are just busybodies who like to poke their nose into other people’s business. And the annoying thing about them is that they’re never ready to help. Just looking for something to laugh about. Their lives must be terribly dull for them to be interested in other people’s business-especially people like me.
I don’t mind them. Except for those who want to make trouble, then I show them the other side of me and then they get more than what they wanted. Just like that one I told you about earlier, that one that called me “Reveren Sistaa.” Useless people!
I think I want to lie down and rest a bit. These days, I sleep more often because I feel tired-very very tired. I know that something is happening to me but I don’t know what it is. And I’m not ready to tell anybody yet. Because I need to know what it is before I tell anybody.
How can you just tell somebody about something you don’t know, especially when it is about yourself. Isn’t that foolishness? Do you want to confuse the person? My grandmother used to say that you have to be sure of what you want to say, before you say it, so that you won’t confuse the person you want to say it to.
But I don’t even have anybody to tell, because it doesn’t concern anybody. The only person I will tell and that is if it is necessary, is Rosco because it concerns him. You know I told you earlier too, that I have a feeling that this problem has to do with him somehow. But that will be when the right time comes.
Don’t ask me how I will know when the right time comes, I will just know. And don’t bother to ask me how I will tell him, that is why I have a mouth.
It’s dark already and Rosco will return with his danfo bus and call me again. Honestly, I can’t wait. He has already started a spark of fire inside me that is growing bigger and bigger every blessed day.
But now I worry that it might just grow wild one day and consume both of us in the end.