I can’t tell Rosco, He will stop calling me at night if I do. Its fault, my uncle was better than that, he always came out at the last minute. After Baami died, I was left with uncle, Baami’s only living relative. Uncle wasn’t married and he quickly introduced me into the thing, Uncle’s thing was very small, but by the time he died I couldn’t do without it. I was so lucky to find Rosco when I got here especially as his thing was very big. I can’t let Rosco know about this problem in my stomach, I would die if I stop having his thing inside me. But the problem was how would a woman everyone thinks is mad get rid of a pregnancy?
I think about it all day and I found a way. I know what I need, a hanger. I remember Sidikat my uncle’s neighbour in the ”face me I face you” where we lived had once told me how to use it. Yes I told myself, that is what I need and it won’t be hard to find, I could get it at the rubbish dump. The day I was ready to do it, it was at night, I waited for Rosco to call me into his bus first, the fool he didn’t even suspect anything about the problem in my stomach. I allowed him to pound to his satisfaction and then went back to my place. I bring out the hanger and used it the way Sidikat had said it was used. I wash the blood with the muddy water in the puddles left by the rain. I was happy and I slept. The noise woke me, it was too close, I bring my hand to my head so I will not hear the noise, but it was too close.
I recognize Zeze’s voice one of the touts that smoke igbo here.
He was cursing, ”Oloriburuku lawon eeyan o”. Who will do this to a mad woman! I opened my eyes and saw the crowd. Even Rosco was there shaking his head like everybody else, they were all talking in raised voices. I try to stand up and that was when I saw it, the puddle surrounding me, the thing was this wasn’t water, it was my blood. It must be that I didn’t use the hanger well I told myself.
Somebody was shouting ”let’s take her to the hospital ooo.”
Zeze turns to Rosco and said ”Rosco start your bus let’s use it
He leaves immediately and someone brings a plank while two others lift me on it. Rosco was back, the engine was running. I look at him, point at him and mumbled ”he is the one”. Everyone froze, and suddenly they started shouting, raining curses on him, in the confusion I was completely forgotten. I feel weak; I close my eyes and allow rest to come.