So scared. Why do I fell this way? I hope I am not carrying the child of that foolish bus driver. I feel sick and this is so unusual. More so if actually I’m pregnant, would Rosco take responsibility of the child? I don’t think so. He sleeps with me only at night and denies me during the day. He’s ashamed of me. I don’t think he will ever want people to see him with me, talk less of giving my baby father love. But sincerely, what is really happening to me? The atmosphere isn’t conducive. Or could it be malaria? No. I’ve stayed here for years and I have adapted to the milieu. Still on my thoughts, its dark and I hear the engine sound and horn of Rosco’s stupid danfo. I am not so much in the mood and not delighted at his arrival as usual. It’s dark and he’s around for his usual night exercise. I am so not in the mood. He notices it and gives me a slap. Saying ”you dey craze?when all this rubbish start? Why u dey behave like this? See this mad woman oh” I shook in fear. I felt so insecure for the first time in my life” this was the first day he’ll be so aggressive. I cried my life out for weeks, knowing the man who I thought saw me as a mentally stable being is referring me as a mad woman. For weeks, he seized coming. I miss him and I miss his thing. I felt jealous and empty. Is he giving it to some other mad woman?…….so many crazy thoughts.
My stomach is protruding. I’m pregnant….I have accepted my fate. Now I realize that men sleep with anything under skirts. They use women as objects. Women too fall foolishly as prey. But why? Why did I allow Rosco do this to me? Although the act is like paradise but the consequence is like hell. I enjoyed the pounding but I’m gonna suffer it at the end of the day. Or probably this baby will be the source of my joy….yes #big smiles#…..
Never knew it was time to give birth. The baby is coming. What will I do? I screamed no one around to help me. Just the old men who took Indian hemp were around me. Could they be of help? Only God knows. Yeah. I indeed gave birth. The pains of child birth was more than that I experience every night with Rosco. Thereafter, Rosco appears at night. With great joy in my heart, thinking he’s coming to look after my baby…but instead, he pushes the baby to the other side of the floor where we sleep and continues with his unfinished business. I really can’t refute because he gives me the usual little bucks to cater for myself and the baby.
Life is more complicated. Things happen every day and each individual has their own stories to tell. This is my story.